It’s difficult for me to wrap my head around my personal goals and their impact on my wife and new baby. Often I feel guilty about wanting to go rock climbing, parkour, or just train in general. Mrs. Average is quite positive about it, urging me to follow my dreams, but I can’t help but think that I’m somehow abandoning her and Baby X to the metaphorical wolves whilst I dangle from ledges by my fingertips.
They say that the first few months of one’s first child are the biggest habit breaking/forming times of one’s life. I’m trying to use this to my advantage, but its difficult. I still smoke cigarettes, albeit much less than before. I had counted on Baby X helping me to break that habit, but it does little to deter me, other than the pain in the ass of washing my hands every time I smoke. My paid work ethic has strengthened, which I like. Other than that, it seems each day is a blur of work, baby, then chilling, wishing I had done A, B, or C as well.
I have turned to my brother and father for advice, and they assure me I am on the right track. My brother came into town for a Zombie Run this weekend, three children in tow. It was quite inspiring, to see him not falter from his goal. I shall try to emulate him in this way.